Learning To Be Resilient

Author: Kim Darcey Consultant, Darcey Consulting & The Wisdom Group

What is resiliency? When we say someone is resilient, we often mean that a person can keep a positive demeanor yet be able to manage a high level of stress. Being resilient doesn’t mean individuals don’t suffer from stress or anxieties. Whether it is related to losing a job, a serious health issue, financial matters, divorce, a loss, or a family issue, we all will experience stressors; it’s how we deal with them that matter. 

Resilience is an attribute that enables one who hits a roadblock, or difficult situation in life and be able to bounce back, stronger than before. Instead of letting failure overwhelm and hold them down, resilience enables an individual to turn a negative to positive and move oneself forward.  Some people are more resilient than others and portray certain characteristics that are associated with being resilient. Resilience is not a trait, it is behaviors, thoughts and actions. 

There are things in life that we can or can’t control. Life happens, and sometimes things leave us asking why, though it is important to acknowledge that we are in control of the response we choose to make. We may have feelings of insecurity, anxiety, dread, though these fears can cause us to withdraw if we allow it.

Engaging your resilience may mean having to contemplate about the situation and what you are going to do. Believing and trusting that things will get better, and if they don’t, trusting in your ability to cope no matter what happens. Facing your fears can make you feel insecure, though it is important to not avoid the reality of situation. Take a step toward your hopes by believing in yourself and building on your self-esteem. Look around to see who can support you, a friend, someone in your family, or a counselor. Set yourself some goals. Don’t continue to be the victim of your circumstance, rather look ahead at the direction you want to go in and plan proactively. Life and work can be overwhelming, know your limits but continue to take those steps, one step at a time. 

Being resilient can be learned and developed, if you are willing to. Learning to be resilient by being positive and optimistic; having stronger emotional control and solid decision-making skills.   

Treat yourself, do something that makes you feel good, and be positive to yourself.